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The Box of Daughter - A Memoir, by Katherine Mayfield
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Katherine Mayfield’s debut memoir, The Box of Daughter, is an inspiring true story of her journey of recovery from dysfunctional family issues, and her quest to raise her self-esteem and create a more authentic life.
From The Box of Daughter:
“In 1990, in an effort to understand why life was always difficult for me, I began digging underneath the corroded crust that covered the ugly story of my childhood. Eventually, I began to realize that what was hidden inside of me was not weakness, deficiency, and incompetence, but rather a mountain of buried treasure that would immeasurably enrich my life as I found the courage to uncover and express it.”
The Box of Daughter is a story of hope, an illuminating portrayal of the author’s journey to freedom after life in an emotionally abusive family.
- Sales Rank: #630650 in eBooks
- Published on: 2012-06-23
- Released on: 2012-06-23
- Format: Kindle eBook
Review
"Compelling....gripping....a triumph of the human spirit."
-Nashua Telegraph
"Mayfield's memoir is a testament to the merit of psychological healing through the understanding and expression of feelings.... Full of stark realities of abuse but also the hopefulness of healing, Mayfield's memoir provides helpful insight to those facing similar struggles."
-Kirkus Reviews
"This is an excellent book to give to a friend struggling with family entanglement issues. It took courage and a lot of personal pain to write this book, but I have no doubt it will help many, many people."
-TCM Reviews
"This book changes you. You'll walk away more compassionate and inspired to live your best life."
-Ellen Padnos, Women.com
"The Box of Daughter...is a hopeful story of a woman unraveled by abuse but found again in self-love and recovery."
Karyl McBride, Ph.D., author of Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers
"Fresh, bold and inspiring."
-Examiner.com
From the Author
I wish you peace and happiness, and a journey to your true self filled with light.
About the Author
Katherine Mayfield is the author of the award-winning memoir The Box of Daughter: Healing the Authentic Self; Bullied: Why You Feel Bad Inside and What to Do About It, a guide to recovery for teens and adults who have been bullied; a book of poems, The Box of Daughter and Other Poems; Dysfunctional Families: The Truth Behind the Happy Family Facade; and two books on the acting business: Smart Actors, Foolish Choices and Acting A to Z, both published by Back Stage Books.
The Box of Daughter won awards in both the 2012 New England Book Festival and Reader's Favorite Book Awards, and was nominated as a Finalist in the 2013 Maine Literary Awards. Ms. Mayfield also won the Honorable Mention award in the 2011 Warren Adler Short Story Contest for her short story The Last Visit, which is based on the last time she visited her father in hospice care.
She has been published in Dance Teacher Now magazine, Dance Spirit magazine, The Significato Journal online, Sasee magazine, The Women's Times, the Greenfield Recorder, and on Salon.com, Fiftyshift.com, and numerous other websites.
She teaches writing in Maine, and blogs on Dysfunctional Families on her website, TheBoxofDaughter.com.
Most helpful customer reviews
15 of 15 people found the following review helpful.
Surviving Emotional Abuse
By Alana Sue
I was inspired by Katherine's memoir and her struggle to find her own true identity. She worked hard and long to claw her way out of a dysfunctional family relationship where communication and expression of emotion was taboo.
Anyone that has come from a dysfunctional family, anyone that cannot meet their parent's expectations, anyone that has had to be a caregiver for aging ill parents will appreciate this book. Simply knowing that you are not alone, knowing that you too can eventually rise above the damage that was done and free yourself from entanglement, is a wonderful comfort. I feel consoled, grateful and calmed.
Only after 7 years of caregiving and nurturing and her parents' eventual death was the author able to free herself from the spider web that trapped her. She was finally able to venture outside of the Box of Daughter and view the world and herself from her very own perspective, not theirs.
I took pleasure and comfort in knowing that she found solace in her pets and plants. Somehow just knowing that gives me a sense of peace. I also retreat to my pets and plants when under duress, and it was a warm fuzzy to know others do too.
12 of 12 people found the following review helpful.
Eternally greatful for finding this book
By KbPbJ
I wish I could give this book an extra 20 stars. I felt a connection with the author's words on every page. This book has pushed my recovering psyche forward by leaps and bounds. I recommend this book for anyone who had a difficult relationship with their parents, particularly if narcissism played a role in either parent.
9 of 9 people found the following review helpful.
Recommended reading.
By beckvalleybooks
This book is a truly open and honest account of the authors life, growing up whilst being captured in the middle of emotional abuse. I started to read the book not knowing what to expect, by the third page I had a lump in my throat and the dread in my stomach of how a little girl tries so desperately to please her mum and how a mothers simplest actions can have so much affect on a child. As a parent myself, I immediately started to think of certain things I have done in the past, meaning no harm, but questioning what affect this may have had on my child.
The author lived in a dominant and controlling environment when all she needed and craved for was the physical and emotional love of her parents, tenderness, a kiss, a smile, a cuddle, praise. Living the life of two families was how things were expected, one show for the public, family and friends against the real family situation, inside their home, of emotional neglect, sadness, loneliness and for a little girl the lack of tolerance. This lack made her life virtually unbearable, being almost too scared to breathe, as she learnt from a very young age that the only way to please was to be the good little girl, how the box of daughter should be. Stopping herself from enjoying any part of life, so she didn't get hurt when it was taken away from her was another part of growing up.
What you do realise as you read more into the book is that her parents lived a very lonely life together, handed down from generations of how parents behaved. You could almost feel their depression as they lived their daily lives. You also feel the anger and jealousy as her mother continually took the limelight at any given opportunity over her daughters achievements.
For me the breaking point is when the family had the chance to move to California for 3 years. The author finally finds some freedom and the feeling of acceptance from the school, youth club and theatre club. Things were starting to improve when they were suddenly taken away as the family had to move back to their original area due to her fathers job. This to me leads to more unbalanced feelings and increased frustrations of the whole family.
Then living through the caring of her elderly parents as she holds onto all the past pain and resentment of all the things she never experienced as a child. When the day came when she was finally free to live her life as she wanted to, the sheer shock and confusion in her mind on how to life without the shadowing criticism over her, starts to hit her. As the lines read ' I was left with threads of many colours that I didn't have any idea how to sift and sort them into any kind of order, or whether I even needed any of them at all to weave a new tapestry for my life.' Recommended reading.
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