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Outlaw Marriages: The Hidden Histories of Fifteen Extraordinary Same-Sex Couples, by Rodger Streitmatter
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For more than a century before gay marriage became a hot-button political issue, same-sex unions flourished in America. Pairs of men and pairs of women joined together in committed unions, standing by each other “for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health” for periods of thirty or forty—sometimes as many as fifty—years. In short, they loved and supported each other every bit as much as any husband and wife.
In Outlaw Marriages, cultural historian Rodger Streitmatter reveals how some of these unions didn’t merely improve the quality of life for the two people involved but also enriched the American culture.
Among the high-profile couples whose lives and loves are illuminated in the following pages are Nobel Peace Prize winner Jane Addams and Mary Rozet Smith, literary icon Gertrude Stein and Alice B. Toklas, author James Baldwin and Lucien Happersberger, and artists Jasper Johns and Robert Rauschenberg.
- Sales Rank: #631165 in Books
- Brand: Brand: Beacon Press
- Published on: 2012-05-15
- Released on: 2012-05-15
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 9.27" h x .85" w x 6.25" l, 1.02 pounds
- Binding: Hardcover
- 224 pages
- Used Book in Good Condition
Review
"Outlaw Marriages gloriously outs same-sex couples through history and celebrates their love and impact in theater, arts, and social change. If you love the guilty pleasure of reading People magazine for your celebrity-couple news, you'll love this book. And the fact-checking is flawless!"—Kate Clinton, humorist
“The volume will have particular appeal to readers of gender studies, but these stories ultimately prove that true partnership is gender blind.”—Publishers Weekly
“A thoroughly interesting look at gay and lesbian love, life and relationships.”—EDGE
“Fifteen love marriages that dared not speak their name defied laws and mores, flouted conventions, and live today in Streitmatter’s essential, well-documented history.”—Booklist
“A nice gift for just the right couple.”—Kirkus Reviews
"An engaging and well-researched volume with broad appeal to the LGBTQ crowd (especially couples) as well as social historians."–Library Journal
"In Outlaw Marriages he distills a wealth of information down to a lively and effective series of double portraits.”—The Gay and Lesbian Review
“…Streitmatter expertly threads together the historical backgrounds and incredible courage of these couples… it’s a damn good bunch of stories told in a very approachable 160-ish pages.”—The Stranger
About the Author
Rodger Streitmatter, a former newspaper reporter, is a member of the School of Communication faculty at American University. He lives in Washington, D.C., with his husband, Tom Grooms.
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
From the Prologue
The couples who come to life in the following chapters were social insurgents.
That is, each pair of men and each pair of women defied the social order by
creating sub-rosa same-sex marriages long before such relationships were
legally sanctioned.
Tennessee Williams and Frank Merlo, for example, began their outlaw
marriage in 1948—spending every day and night together, while loving and
supporting each other to a degree fully comparable to that of any husband
and wife. Their partnership continued until Merlo died of cancer in 1963.
Outlaw Marriages tells Williams and Merlo’s story, along with those of
fourteen other same-sex couples who combined their lives either as husband
and husband or wife and wife during eras when no legal institution and no
church approved of such a union.
The other trait that these renegade couples have in common is that they all
fully qualify as, in a word, extraordinary.
In many instances, that powerful adjective fits because of the remarkable
contributions a particular couple made to the culture—the fields ranging
from literature to modern art to filmmaking. The achievements of other couples
include opening graduate education to American women and pioneering
a new form of journalism in the pages of the New Yorker magazine.
With Williams and Merlo, their gift was creating some of the most memorable
plays in the history of American theater. Williams was addicted to
drugs and promiscuity when he met the rock-solid Merlo. The World War
II vet then saw to it that the playwright regained his emotional and physical
equilibrium, allowing him to write such theatrical masterpieces as the
Pulitzer Prize–winning Cat on a Hot Tin Roof.
A few of the other extraordinary contributions that unfold in this book are
• Walt Whitman and Peter Doyle reinventing American poetry
• Jane Addams and Mary Rozet Smith revolutionizing the field of social
work
• Greta Garbo and Mercedes de Acosta taking the lead in transforming
Hollywood into the celebrity capital of the world
When reading the statements above, you probably recognized only one of
the two names in the pairings. That’s because the achievements of one partner
often became widely known, while those of the other partner stayed
hidden—until the publication of this book.
Outlaw Marriages is an apt title on two levels.
First, all fifteen couples created unions that defied the laws and mores
of their day. Many of these de facto partnerships survived and thrived, despite
their lack of support by church or state, for thirty or forty years—in
some cases, fifty.
Second, these couples flouted convention. Aaron Copland was thirtytwo
years old when he met and instantly fell in love with a drop-dead gorgeous
violinist named Victor Kraft, who was only seventeen. The composer’s
friends and family didn’t take the relationship seriously, convinced the couple
wouldn’t survive the dramatic age difference. Copland and Kraft proved
them wrong. The men not only stayed together but also jointly created a distinctly
American style of music that critics today, eighty years later, are still
praising.
That the couples were willing to bend the marital rules doesn’t mean they
all succeeded in creating relationships that were made in heaven—far from
it. A regrettable scenario that plays out in several chapters begins with the
lesser-known partner being absolutely essential to the better-known partner’s
rise to success, but then . . . the high-achieving partner getting what might be
called the “twenty-year itch.” Martha Carey Thomas set the standard back in
the 1890s, summarily dumping her partner of two decades, Mamie Gwinn,
for another woman. Janet Flanner went a similar route in the 1930s, as did
Audre Lorde in the 1980s.
In the instances listed above as well as in others where the outlaw marriage
eventually falls apart, readers hear the whole story—which typically includes
infidelity, deceit, and betrayal. These unfortunate factors are revealed
in full detail, as they’re the realities that often confront any long-term relationship,
gay or straight.
To help the various outlaw marriages come alive in the reader’s mind,
I’ve included photos of all fifteen couples. Tracking down these images was
often a challenge, especially in the instances when one or both members of
a couple—as with Greta Garbo and Mercedes de Acosta—didn’t publicly acknowledge
their relationship. And so, in some cases, I’ve had to use two separate photos of the partners, since a single photo of them together either didn’t exist or wasn’t available. There are also instances—as with Jane Addams and Mary Rozet Smith—when I’ve used a photo of poor quality because it shows the partners together, even though higher-quality photos of the two individuals separately could have been used.
Whether a chapter begins with a single image or a pair of them, each story
that follows is a page-turner. Sometimes the most compelling element in it is
the contribution the couple made; other times, it’s the internal dynamics of
their relationship. But one theme runs through them all:
Two people joining together to create an outlaw marriage plays a central
role not only in the couple’s extraordinary achievements, but also in each individual
partner’s very being.
Most helpful customer reviews
26 of 26 people found the following review helpful.
Outlaw Marriages: The Hidden Histories of Fifteen Extraordinary Same-Sex Couples
By Margaret Mullins
I vaguely knew, before reading this book, that many of the people profiled in it were gay--people such as Walt Whitman, Jane Addams and Aaron Copland. But I had no idea that each one of them had a partner who played a critical role in their success. I didn't know, for example, that a man named Peter Doyle served as the muse for Whitman when he wrote many of the poems in Leaves of Grass. I loved learning how Whitman and Peter Doyle met. This book taught me that, as well as the similar "back story" about 14 other couples who became partners long before gay marriage became a national issue. I found it fascinating to learn about the internal dynamics of these various couples, and I appreciate that the author didn't whitewash the relationship but included the betrayals and other difficulties they struggled with. If you like books that are an easy read and also teach you a great deal, Outlaw Marriages is a great choice.
17 of 17 people found the following review helpful.
Loving Outlaw Marriages
By J. McIntyre
When I started this book, I thought I would learn about important same-sex couples from the past and how their relationships worked when there was such a strong stigma against homosexuality. The book definitely fulfilled my expectations in that regard. What I also learned by the time I finished the book, though, was so much wonderful detail about the contributions that these various couples made.
With the artists Jasper Johns and Robert Rauschenberg, for example, I learned that Rauschenberg played a critical role in Johns painting his most recognized work. The two men were living together, and one morning Johns got up and said, just in passing, that he had a dream about painting the American flag. Johns was just saying this in a matter-of-fact way, sort of laughing at the idea. But Rauschenberg took it seriously. He said that maybe that idea had merit, so he encouraged Johns to go ahead and paint what he had seen himself painting in the dream. So then Johns did it. So, in reality, if Rauschenberg had not been there, Johns may never have painted one of modern art's most iconic works.
The same sort of scenario played out with other couples, too. If Alice B. Toklas had not been so determined to see that Gertrude Stein's works were published, they probably never would have been. And if Bessie Marbury had not encouraged Elsie de Wolfe to start charging people for decorating their homes, she never would have become America's first interior designer.
In the end, this book shows you how important a partner or a spouse or a husband or a wife can be--whether they are of different sexes or the same sex.
5 of 5 people found the following review helpful.
15 Same Sex marriages of well known people over the last century
By Dave Parker
This non-fiction book is a compilation of 15 same-sex marriages with at least one well-known partner over a period from the mid 1860's through the current day. Most of these outlaw marriages involved at least one partner in the public eye, including theatre, films, painting, illustrating, and education. Most readers will recognize at least one partner in each partnership. These are couples who made significant contributions to our American culture.
Obviously, none of them were married in the socially accepted meaning of the word. Many of the relationships were generally closeted, but in those instances some of their close friends were aware and accepting, if not supportive. One of the partners in all of them achieved such public stature that even the press - well knowing their same-sex attraction - would not publicly condemn them.
Still, these couples suffered some of the same injustices we see today. Some of their families could not accept their relationships. In some cases, their careers were hobbled by their same-sex attraction. In many cases, infidelity on the part of one or both partners led to the dissolution of their relationships, even after several decades. In almost every partnership, their relationships were completely ignored in published obituaries at their death.
These short biographies take neither an accepting nor condemning tone. They are well-researched, using letters between the partners and to their friends and published individual biographies as confirmed sources. They are well written, making this book a pleasure to read.
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